February 16, 20203:28pm cabin Struggling. Raw. Thoughts of suicide waft through my mind like a thin wisp of smoke, leaving me wonder, “did I actually just think that?” Have I sunk so far down that I’m thinking of death again? When, how did that happen? Why? Perhaps, I just should. Indulge once. Forever be doneContinue reading “anger and chainsaws”
Category Archives: depression
Solstice – present and past
Written on Solstice 2019 A year ago, I went to Medicine Man’s to prepare myself for the winter solstice festivity that evening. It was a ritual of sorts. A goddess letting go of what no longer served her. A goddess accentuating her beauty for herself, but also for Gentle Giant. Medicine Man proclaimed me “smokinContinue reading “Solstice – present and past”
money, money, money… tired of it
roiling rage
December 14, 2019 3:30pm My dead mother’s birthday. The mother I don’t miss, the mother I wish I had never known. The mother who wounded me so deeply, the hate still lingers. My Mother, extended family, church and community are all enmeshed. I work at healing, and I have healed a lot, but lately I’ve beenContinue reading “roiling rage”
I AM, bison, and a cranky trailer
December 9, 201910:18pm The day started off in a shaky fashion. I slept way past the alarm. Partly because I didn’t want to wake up and face the day because I was in a dark, dark place. I know there are many energetic reasons for unexplained dark feelings, but it always throws me for aContinue reading “I AM, bison, and a cranky trailer”
poor…but safe and warm
December 8, 20199:58pm I am ending the weekend feeling so discouraged due to being triggered over money. I am living on $340 a month plus whatever I make from my crafts and odd jobs. BUT… I am only allowed to earn $200 before social assistance takes 70% of it away. I live the best lifeContinue reading “poor…but safe and warm”
truth and love and the darkness inbetween 